2/17/2025 198. Wellness is Boundaries, Alignment, and Gaining Clarity with Dr. Daryll WhartonRead Now![]()
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In this episode, I chat with Dr. Daryll Wharton, a passionate advocate for teacher wellness and empowerment. She introduces the innovative concept of "recess" for educators, aiming to inspire the same joy in teachers that they evoke in their students.
The episode explores redefining success through a health and wellness lens, the importance of supportive school communities, and practical strategies to prevent teacher burnout, particularly in special education settings. Dr. Wharton's framework emphasizes building boundaries, aligning mindsets, and gaining clarity to ensure personal and professional well-being. The Big Dream Dr. Wharton's big dream for education is that students are met exactly where they are and that every single learner is able to learn at their own pace. And, if we meet educators where they are as well, they’re going to be more equipped with the strategies to do that. This dream is rooted in the belief that personalization for teachers, similar to that for students, can lead to transformative change in education. Mindset Shifts Required To achieve the vision of empowered teacher wellness, Dr. Wharton suggests that educators and leaders must question established routines and embrace change. She highlights the importance of asking "why" to challenge habitual thinking and to consider different approaches. This shift involves rethinking traditional practices and prioritizing self-care, as well as acknowledging and valuing personal well-being. Leaders, in particular, need to support teachers by recognizing stress signals and promoting self-care, encouraging a mindset where teachers can balance their professional and personal lives effectively. Action Steps To shift toward a wellness mindset as an educator, Dr. Wharton suggests you “check your BAG.” As an educator, you carry a bag to work all day, every day, and it’s a metaphor for the weight you carry around—physically, emotionally, mentally. So it’s important to analyze what’s in your bag and make sure it only has those things that serve you. Educators should check their BAG by: Step 1: Building boundaries What will you or will you not accept for yourself? Build boundaries around those things so you are aligned with your personal and professional goals and values. Step 2: Aligning with your mindset Make sure your true beliefs and who you are as a person align with your mindset. You don’t want to be out of alignment with your true self because it will prevent you from reaching your potential as a person and educator. Step 3: Gaining clarity What exactly do you want? What are you working towards as an educator? Get clear on that and start working toward it. Decide what you want and then describe it—get very clear on your goals, personal and professional, by describing them accurately and writing them down. Challenges? One of the significant challenges teachers face is managing the overwhelming workload, especially in special education. The extensive paperwork and additional duties can lead to burnout if not properly managed. Educators often struggle with setting boundaries and may feel compelled to work beyond their contracted hours. Start by setting a hard boundary around your time; for example, “I’m leaving on Fridays right on the dot at the time my contract says I can.” Further, some educators are not supported by their leadership. There is also a structural element at play here, where everyone is caught up in the busyness of their work and doesn't prioritize time for wellness. One Step to Get Started To begin prioritizing wellness, Dr. Wharton suggests creating a clear, achievable goal that encompasses both the personal and professional. What does your perfect life look like as an educator and as a person? Start by writing it down and visualizing it. Meditate on your goals so you retrain your brain to see it as truly possible. Stay Connected You can find more of Dr. Daryll Wharton’s work on Instagram, her personal website, the Teacher Recess website, or her podcast, Teacher Recess with Dr. Daryll. To help you implement today’s takeaways, Dr. Wharton is sharing a meditation with you for free. You can text the word “RECESS” to 443-775-2325 to access it and begin reaching your wellness goals as an educator. If you’re looking for more details on the ideas in this blog post, listen to episode 198 of the Time for Teachership podcast. If you’re unable to listen or you prefer to read the full episode, you can find the transcript below. Quotes:
TRANSCRIPT 0:00:03 - Lindsay Lyons Dr Daryl Wharton, welcome to the Time for Teachership podcast. I'm so glad you're here today. Thank, you. 0:00:10 - Dr. Daryll Wharton It's really really nice. The title alone it speaks volumes. 0:00:15 - Lindsay Lyons Thank you so much. I am so excited for what we're about to talk about. Is there anything that you want people to know before we really get into the conversation? About you, about the topic of wellness, anything on your mind at the moment? 0:00:30 - Dr. Daryll Wharton The main thing is that I create recess for teachers and you know, teachers deserve that same break. They deserve to wake up feeling absolutely amazing. And I came up with that because I thought about how excited the kids get when they know that recess is coming up and they know if their little name moves down on that behavior chart they aren't going to go. And I just feel like that excitement. I feel like teachers should be able to come to work with that excitement every day. So that's what I do I create recess for teachers. 0:01:06 - Lindsay Lyons What a cool line of work. That is amazing. I love it. I mean, I think this is kind of inherent. My next question is kind of like you're leading right into it already, but I love Dr Bettina Love's work and she talks specifically about freedom, dreaming as dreams grounded in the critique of injustice, and so I'm curious to know, kind of in that context, what is that big dream that you hold for education or educators? However, you want to answer that. 0:01:33 - Dr. Daryll Wharton My big dream that I hope for is that students are met exactly where they are and that every single learner is able to learn at their own pace. And you know, my model when I was in the classroom was you know, if you can't learn the way that I teach, then I'm going to teach the way that you learn. And that means so much to me as a special educator and as a mom of a special needs you know child. And I just think that if we actually met the teachers where they are as well, then they are going to be more equipped, they're going to have more strategies to say that. You know, no, there are no failures in here, it's only learning processes. So my big dream is that every student just learns to be themselves and grow up and be a happy and productive adult. I know that's big, but we can do it. We can do it. 0:02:35 - Lindsay Lyons Oh, that is so good. I don't know if I have ever heard someone frame it in that way of like the same thing we do for students and desire for students we could do for teachers, like that same personalization. I love that, thank you. Um, now I think there's probably leaders out there who you know, or or even teachers out there who will hear some of of this and be like, okay, I'm in this particular way of doing things, I have been doing things in this particular way and I want this thing. I want you know if I'm a leader to support my teachers in this way. If I'm a teacher, I want this thing. I want you know if I'm a leader to support my teachers in this way. If I'm a teacher, I want to achieve kind of wellness and recess and that vibe, what are kind of the mindset shifts that people have to undergo to be able to make that a reality for themselves or their teachers. 0:03:17 - Dr. Daryll Wharton From the leader's perspective, I think that we, as humans, we are creatures of habits, and I think that you really have to start questioning yourself why can't I be different? It is one thing that I teach in my framework is when those limiting beliefs start to come in and you think, oh well, I've been doing it this way for so long. This is the only way that we do it. When you just say, well, why not? Well, why can't I do this? Why can't I start here instead of over here? Why can't I drive this way to work instead of that way to work, we become creatures of habit, where we just become robotic, and I think that the word why is such a beautiful word, and it's something that I think that we can instill in our students as well. It's okay to ask me why. It's okay to say, well, why, why do I have to stand in a straight line, which that's a whole nother show Cause I? I don't believe in that either. You know you. You have these kids that sit in the desk all day long. They got to walk in a line and to the cafeteria, and it's like I know, if I had to do that at work, I will be a problem worker. So I just think that if we all just start questioning ourselves about how we do things, then we can say you know what? Today I'm going to do this a little different, and I think that you would be able to step out of your box more often than not If you just question yourself about why you do things the way you do things. 0:04:56 - Lindsay Lyons That is so. The implications for that are really widespread too. I love that that is so simple and so powerful, so thank you for sharing that. I am really curious. You mentioned a framework, so I don't know if you want to kind of talk us through that piece or if there are other specific actions that you would recommend teachers think about or leaders think about, but I'm super curious to know, like, what is it that you help people to do, and how do we get there? 0:05:20 - Dr. Daryll Wharton I have a framework. I have my keynote speech is called what's in your Bag and you know, as teachers we carry a bag to work all day, every day, and that bag is a metaphor for the weight that you carry around. Whether it's physical, whether it's emotional anxiety, it's still that weight. So I teach in my framework that you know you have to analyze what's in your bag, you have to take out what doesn't serve. You put in some things that serve you and then you have to make sure that you constantly check. You constantly check. So that bag is also an acronym for, you know, building boundaries. What will you or will not accept for yourself? The A stands for aligning with your mindset, to make sure that your true beliefs and who you know you are as a person doesn't align with your mindset, because sometimes it doesn't, and that G stands for gaining clarity what exactly do you want? I often shared and this is the beginning of why I started doing teacher wellness. I used to weigh almost 700 pounds and I lost. You know people would say, oh my goodness, I've lost over 400 pounds, and I know that that sounds like oh my gosh, but what I really lost was self-doubt and self-hate, which is no comparison to the physical weight of what I've lost and what I've gained in just getting myself. And now I remember who I am all day, every single day. There's nothing that anyone else can say to me to make me feel different about myself. So that's my framework for just remember who you are. And we use the word teacher a lot, but I always tell teachers you know what in your head. Call yourself an educator, because it sounds different. You know, when you walk in and you say I am an educator, it makes a difference in how you speak to yourself, and so that is something that no one can take from you. And I often say to teachers remember who you are, and that way you can thrive inside the classroom and, most importantly, outside of the classroom as well. 0:07:40 - Lindsay Lyons I love how, first of all, thank you for sharing your own personal story and I really appreciate that you're doing this work, that you've developed this framework. I think what I love about your framework is that it's really holistic, like it's not just set a boundary and then just like that's the end, right. It's also that alignment of mindset and values I think is so important, right? We get into teaching for education, we're educators for these specific reasons, and then we might lose sight of them because we're in the minutia or whatever, right, and like that doesn't serve us. And then I also love the idea of gaining clarity. I'm just thinking about like I have a particular priorities note, like a post-it note, right behind the computer. It reminds me when I'm in the midst of things and feeling overwhelmed, like what is most important, and I'm wondering if there are either, like you know, key strategies like a posted, or kind of aha moments, as you've coached teachers to kind of go through that and kind of unpack what's in their bag. Are there moments, either stories, moments or strategies you'd want to share around that framework for listeners? 0:08:42 - Dr. Daryll Wharton So I would say first of all, you know, decide what you want and then describe it Just like you would tell your students to. We're going to draw a picture today and everybody's picture is going to be different. So, at weighing almost 700 pounds, I used to say I want to be skinny. But I didn't. I wasn't successful until I defined and got clarity what that skinny was and you know I'm still cute and curvy, I'm not trying to be skinny. I realized that my skinny quote unquote was to be well, it was to be able to walk up and down the steps without breathing hard, you know, to get down on the floor and get up to start running if somebody started chasing me. You know what I mean. So once I defined what that skinny was, the goal looked really more reachable. I was like, oh okay, because when you say to yourself, oh, I need to lose over 400 pounds, it's a rat if I would have thought of it like that. But when I thought of I just want to walk a little bit better, I don't want my knees to hurt, you know, I want my blood work to be better, my blood pressure to be better, those things are more measurable. So I would say to teachers you know, write down. You want that clarity of exactly what you want, and not just as a teacher. You know, I go back to remember who you are. You are a person and you're modeling for students all day long of what their adult life is going to be like, and so you know. I saw somewhere a quote teachers touch tomorrow. How powerful is that? So there is no world without us. Let's be clear. There is no world without us. We teach every single person that makes the world run, and so there's a huge responsibility in that, and you must model. How do you come to work and still be happy and go home and be a good mother and a good wife and a good sister and a good daughter? It's important that children know that and not just only one plus one is two. Yeah. 0:10:50 - Lindsay Lyons Oh my gosh, absolutely. And I'm thinking now about how beautiful this work is and how important this work is, and I'm also thinking about all of the pressures that teachers have to contend with to be able to like, deal with, like to do this important work right that you're describing and like how do they kind of like, keep out the other stuff or, you know, is it on my personal opinion, is it is also on leaders to create the space for right teachers to be able to do that. So do you have either specific challenges that you know teachers face and kind of suggestions to overcome it, or, like advice for leaders of how to create that space? What can you give us there? 0:11:30 - Dr. Daryll Wharton I would say I always like to tell leaders that you must make sure that you are building community in your school. And you know, sometimes we have principals that sit in their office all day and you know no shade to them because, guess what, they have so many things that they need to do. So then block out your schedule and say you know what? I'm going to get to work 15 minutes before all of the teachers and I'm standing in that office and I'm going to say hi to every single person. Or, you know, every Friday I'm going to put a little personal note in their mailboxes. I'm going to walk around and not just walk around in the halls, and you know you want your students to see you. I'm going to pop in my head and say hey, ms Teacher, how are you doing today? Do you need anything? And I think that if you build that community for teachers to have a safe space and for them to know that you are their coach, because you are coaching them, that may be your next assistant principal, it may be your next colleague as a principal, and you should be able to take a day off and your school run as if you are still in the building. You can only do that by building community and that mutual respect. 0:12:50 - Lindsay Lyons That makes total sense to me. I'm also thinking about like the kind of structure. Like the things that we ask of teachers is kind of wild, like we basically ask them to do the impossible to cover thousands of standards right, to have very little prep time in many schools, to do all of these things. And I'm wondering if you've seen any leaders be successful with kind of the structural pieces like reconfiguring how time is so you have more prep time. Or I know one of the principals that I admired for modeling wellness was she was like all right, everybody out. Once the kids had gone, it was like go home, like it's okay, whatever is not done, like let's be well, like go home, I'm going to leave too. And I thought that kind of modeling was really something that I have seen as a concrete strategy. Yeah, anything that structurally or time-wise. 0:13:41 - Dr. Daryll Wharton It would really be beneficial if leaders started to kind of. You know you have a process. Now I'm always going to speak from a special education point of view. You know we have a lot of paperwork. We're prepping for IEP meetings in addition to the other duties that we have. And I will always say to my special educators you know, because I also was an IEP meeting facilitator for several years and I would give out that IEP meeting like a I call it a year at a glance, so that you will already know in September if you had five IEP meetings in March. You already knew that. So I would say to teachers and I got my principal on board because I needed that message to come from my principal and you know he just basically told them go ahead and start your progress report in September and add to it. And how good is that? When you're at an IEP meeting and you're speaking, you actually have the documentation to back up what you're saying. So I think that you know you can't be a person on an island. I think you have to meet with your admin team to really say you know, look, we really need to find a way how we're going to do anything and also know your teachers. You know that if Miss Teacher B comes in every day and she's happy and she's bubbly, and she comes in one day and she barely speaks, oh, I'm going to her room or I'm going to send someone we need to go check on, so-and-so. So I think that you need to have procedures and policies in place, and I know that that is just Something that everyone says all day long, but I really think that you need to be very diligent in policies and procedures for everything, not just all of your district requirements. But how are you being a leader in your school and this is what we do in our school to make sure everyone is well. 0:15:46 - Lindsay Lyons I love that. I don't know if I've ever heard someone say that, like the idea of wellness policies, like what is the? Yeah, oh, that's good, okay. I am also curious about, like do you have anything around teachers coming to you saying, like you know what, I don't know how to do my work in a container of you know 35 hours a week, or something like I don't know how to not take the work home because there's just so much of it. I feel like that's constantly a struggle, that I constantly a struggle. 0:16:17 - Dr. Daryll Wharton Yes, yeah, so um, I talk about that in my bag framework of building the boundaries and at the end of the day and and that's what I say like, if you already know, you have and I'm sorry I'm always going to go back to special ed, but you know, I'm just going to use that as an example If you know you have five IEP meetings in March, don't start on February the 20th and writing your. You know, I think planning is very good and keeping a running log of everything and just creating the boundaries. And that may be hard, it may put you behind in some things at work, but you can say to yourself you know what, On Mondays and Fridays or whatever, on Fridays I'm leaving right at the time that I can leave per my contract and I'm not staying beyond that. And teacher burnout is real. It's at 51% right now and it's the number one teacher I'm sorry, it's the number one profession for burnout right now. And we're at a teacher shortage and people just don't understand that if you don't have any teachers, you are going to be in a bad shape, in a bad shape. So I would start with building those boundaries and saying you know to yourself yes, I want my job, I love my job. Most teachers don't do this because for the money. They do it for the love of teaching babies. But I think you also need to always put yourself first, because as teachers, we have things too. I might be in school as a special educator fighting and advocating for the students in the building, but guess what? I have a baby at home that has special needs, so I have to be in charge of that and make sure that I'm devoting that time to my own child as well. 0:18:12 - Lindsay Lyons I just love that that listener can like hear you or, if they're reading the transcript, read you saying those words right, you have to put yourself first, because I don't think enough people say that, especially in a profession which is all about giving right. We're always about the students and we're and yes, I just love how you broke that down. It's like and like you have a life, you have your family, you have yourself to think about and I think it's just so great to to get your your take on that leaders need to say that leaders need to tell the teachers that, um, because, let's be clear, the all school districts, they're businesses. 0:18:46 - Dr. Daryll Wharton You know what I mean. You can't take things so personal, because it is a business and if you decided to quit, your job is going to be posted. They're not going to call you and say, oh well, we wonder what happened. Now your leader, your principal, may call you, because hopefully that principal has a rapport with all of the staff members, but as a business, no, your job is going to be posted and it doesn't matter if you're out for surgery or if you're home taking care of a sick parent, it doesn't matter. So, at the end of the day, you have to say am I going to constantly give from an empty cup or you only get from my overflow and that is it? 0:19:30 - Lindsay Lyons That is a lovely reframe. I love that. I just think I'm again looking at my notes of your your bag framework. I love the idea of the concrete boundary that you shared. So like right Friday at the bell, I'm out, like that's it. I also think that idea of gaining clarity and values alignment is so. It's why I love the framework that you have, because I envision, like my big shift from working 80 hours a week to like 40 hours a week was a combination of those three things. Right, it was like I was a special education teacher also and so I think you know, yeah, and so when we like do all of this stuff right, it's easy to take on, take on, take on. And so I was like, okay, what is the most important, highest leverage things that I need to teach my students that I collect data on for my student IP meetings? Right, like, what are these most important things and what things are most values aligned? So when I'm designing the lessons or something, it's like, well, I really want my students to be really good at critical thought or our discussion or whatever the thing is, and it's like this is who I want students to be in the world. This is the thing that interests them. So I'm going to prioritize these things, because I can't do a thousand standards, so I'm going to just do this, and that way I have the boundary on my time and the alignment to my values and the clarity that, like, these are, these are my focus areas and now I can move forward. And so I just I'm just thinking about my own journey and its relationship to your framework, and it's so good. 0:20:56 - Dr. Daryll Wharton I may need, we may need a partner. Yes, that was perfect. That was perfect and it's so simple and it's like when I thought about it I said what teacher doesn't carry a bag to work Like? But what's in it? 0:21:13 - Lindsay Lyons Oh my gosh, there's. There's so much. I think so many teachers that would benefit from you know connecting with you and I'm I'm sure we'll share at the end kind of where people can connect with you and get in touch with you. I'm sure we'll share at the end kind of where people can connect with you and get in touch with you. I'm curious, too, if they are excited to you know, book your keynote, for example, but that's like a couple months out, what's something they could do like after they listen to this episode and they're like I want to just start now. I want to start with something like as soon as I end the episode today, I want to do something that's like a step in the right direction. 0:21:48 - Dr. Daryll Wharton What do you recommend for those folks? I, again, I would tell them to create your goal, whatever your goal is for, and I would do a combination goal of you for yourself and you in your profession. And, again, writing a picture. Paint a picture of what does it look like? What does your perfect life look like as being an educator? I'm going to say that word as an educator and as a person and be clear about it. So what I incorporate in because I also do workshops that is aligned with my keynote. And when I was in the process of losing all of that emotional weight and, like I said, the physical weight was a byproduct of that, you know, I started with just saying affirmations and the first one that I said was I am disciplined and focused. I have it tattooed on my wrist and, and that is what I went on, and even if I was not disciplined and focused, I kept saying it over and over and over again. This is how we retrain our subconscious mind. So I'm also trained in neuro-linguistic programming and so that is speaking to your subconscious mind. This is how you basically change who you are, because your subconscious mind is constantly working in a background and, whatever you tell it, it will do whatever it can do to make it come true. So if you tell yourself that you're not pretty, you tell yourself that you're not smart, all the time, it's just working in the background, making sure that you will never be pretty when you look into the mirror or never be able to achieve any goals that you want to achieve. So I'm going to give three things. I'm going to say write your goal out. Then you're going to I mean specifically define that goal. Think of yourself as your student. How would you give your student this assignment and list them out? And then sit with yourself for a moment. Just sit down and just visualize yourself. Visualize yourself walking in those shoes of who you want to be, what type of teacher you want to be, what type of person you want to be, and just meditate on it. And I'll share this at the end. I have a small gift for your listeners and it's a meditation for them to listen to in the morning, and what I did was. It is an active meditation. Because we're busy as teachers, I don't have time to sit down with my legs crossed and my eyes closed. You can listen to this in a car on your way to work. It helps you to set your intention and your tone of the day, but a bonus part of it is you're going to come in, relax and your students are going to feel the energy. Now, we all know that students know who you are. That's why they know what classroom they can act a fool in and what classroom they will not. 0:24:49 - Lindsay Lyons Oh my gosh. Yes, that is definitely true. I love this idea of an active meditation. I'm a person who really struggles to sit still and like stop, and so that sounds beautiful for me. So thank you for sharing that, and we'll be sure to link to that in the blog post for the episode. 0:25:02 - Dr. Daryll Wharton Yeah, Okay, perfect. 0:25:04 - Lindsay Lyons And so I have two closing questions for you. This next one is just for fun. It does not have to do with anything we talked about, though it can. Everyone on the podcast tries to, like I think, learn and grow as a human being throughout their whole life, and so a fun question I have is what is something that you have personally been learning about lately? 0:25:24 - Dr. Daryll Wharton Oh, my goodness, I have several things, so I am a singer as well. I have an album out with its meditations and affirmations on the album, but I also have three songs and I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano and I want to get the other side of my brain working, and so I just signed up. Now it's just an app now, don't? I'm not, I won't be doing any concerts, you know, lately or recently or whatever, but yeah, so I am going to learn to play piano and it's something that I've always wanted to do and I'm going to do it. And yoga I want to be a certified yoga instructor. So those are the two things, my main things, that I am learning right now. And you know, as a teacher, you never stop learning. Never stop learning. 0:26:21 - Lindsay Lyons Those are beautiful and so seemingly aligned to everything else you do professionally that it's so like holistic and great. Thank you for sharing those. And then I think the last question is people are going to want to connect with you, learn more about you, just kind of follow the work that you're doing. Where is the best place for people to connect with you online? 0:26:40 - Dr. Daryll Wharton They can go to. I'm on Instagram as teacher recess consulting, and, of course, you can go to my website, drdarylcom, and so I'm kind of re-ramping my website right now. But drdarylcom is for if you would like to speak with me in regards to my keynote speech. But I also have teacherrecesscom and I have a podcast. My podcast is called Teacher Recess with Dr Daryl and I'm going to be sharing tips and a whole bunch of stuff that will be launching on February the 14th, because you need to have self-love and self-care. 0:27:21 - Lindsay Lyons That is perfect, because I believe this episode will be launched on February 18th, so it will be out by the time you're listening. Yes, it will, absolutely. Oh my gosh, dr Daryl, thank you so so much for your time today. I've so appreciated your wisdom. 0:27:35 - Dr. Daryll Wharton And let me give you because I want to give the free gift your listeners can text the word recess and that number is 443-775-2325. And you will get an instant download of the meditation. And, like I said, I love the active meditation. Number one. People want to be looking at me side eyes Like how can you have an active meditation? It just gets you to think and put yourself first and set your intention of the day. 0:28:07 - Lindsay Lyons Oh, that's so beautiful. Thank you so much, and we'll write out the directions for that in the blog post too, in case anyone is driving and can't write the number down. Yes, you're right, awesome. Thank you again, dr Daryl. 0:28:18 - Dr. Daryll Wharton I appreciate you having me. Thank you so much.
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Time for Teachership is now a proud member of the...AuthorLindsay Lyons (she/her) is an educational justice coach who works with teachers and school leaders to inspire educational innovation for racial and gender justice, design curricula grounded in student voice, and build capacity for shared leadership. Lindsay taught in NYC public schools, holds a PhD in Leadership and Change, and is the founder of the educational blog and podcast, Time for Teachership. Archives
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